Why Is My Teenage Son Ashamed Of Me?
When children are young, what they most want is to be with their parents. But those children who cried at the school gate when saying goodbye to their mother have grown up. Now they no longer want their parents to accompany them and avoid the goodbye scenes. And not to mention the displays of affection in public.
Those children who saw their parents as perfect beings are now teenagers who are ashamed of them. They criticize their clothes, they feel uncomfortable with their jokes, with their comments… This situation, which comes on suddenly, can be very difficult for parents, and yet it is very common. It is part of the process of growth and independence typical of adolescence.
Signs that a teenage son is ashamed of his parents
With the arrival of adolescence, new forms of behavior emerge in children. It is very common for them to avoid certain situations with their parents, mainly in front of their friends. It’s like they are suddenly ashamed of themselves. And they make it notice with looks, gestures or even say it with all sincerity.
Some everyday situations provoke typical reactions in adolescents and are clear signs that they are going through this stage. It occurs in most cases. One of the moments in which this situation becomes more visible is when parents drop off their children at school. The adolescents begin to ask them not to accompany them or to leave them a little further away and not in front of the door. And above all they get out of the car in a hurry to avoid the embarrassing moment of the goodbye kiss.
They also do not usually like to go to public places with their parents, and even less that they have affectionate gestures at those times. If, for example, you are in the supermarket with them and a classmate appears, they will feel very uncomfortable and will avoid the meeting at all costs.
But one of the worst times is when parents talk to someone about how perfect their children are or start telling funny stories from when they were little. The disapproving looks and gestures will come immediately.
Why Teens Are Ashamed Of Their Parents
All of these behaviors — which are very common in adolescents — are perfectly normal. Embarrassment in the face of displays of affection is very natural. For adolescents it is a way to begin to mark their space, their independence. It is a sign that they no longer want to be treated like children.
When adolescence arrives, those who until then were children also begin to value what they experience more. They become very critical of themselves and others. That way, what they used to find funny or admired about their parents they no longer like. They become more selfish and more interested in material matters.
It is also very common for adolescents to compare themselves with other families. It even often happens that during this period adolescents get along much better with their friends’ parents than with their own. The others are always better, more understanding, more fun …
How to face this period
For some parents, this phase where their teens are ashamed of them can be really difficult. However, you need to take it easy and understand that it is part of a totally natural process. Although it seems difficult to believe, it is a stage that will pass.
The best way to deal with teen shame is to be patient and not question their behavior. Facing them would be a mistake, since they would end up reaffirming their position even more and closing in on themselves.
To discuss the temporary situation of adolescents’ perceptions with their parents in public, it is better to dismantle this shame indirectly, listening to them and allowing them to express themselves. Good communication is the key to getting through this difficult time.
