Negativity In Children: How To Detect And Combat It?
We believe that children are, by nature, carefree, positive and optimistic. We think they have an innate ability to enjoy themselves, find the kindest side of life, and expect the best in other people.
And, although in many cases it is true, another important percentage of minors already present a markedly negative thought. Detecting this negativity in children and helping them reverse it is essential if we want to save them present and future suffering.
Thought patterns, that is, the way we perceive and interpret reality, are established during childhood and tend to perpetuate over time.
Thus, the attitudes that children adopt in their early years will probably be those that accompany them in the future. These tendencies of thought arise as a result of a combination between genetics and education and it is here that parents can act to tip the balance towards the more positive side.
How to detect negativity in children?
If we don’t pay attention to the signs, the negativity in our children is likely to go unnoticed. We all (infants included) have good and bad days, moments of frustration, anger or sadness. However, when these types of emotions are predominant, it is due to a thought process that we have to work on.
The following are some of the characteristics that we can look for to detect negativity in children.
Constant complaints
Some children are essentially happy, and this is reflected in the way they express themselves, about others, or about life events.
Thus, they tend to feel lucky, calm and satisfied most of the time. On the other hand, other minors tend to constantly complain. Any small detail or setback upsets them or causes great frustration and they maintain the habit of expressing that displeasure frequently.
Lamenting about the bad weather or having to get up early, complaining about their school or home obligations, expressing disgust for the behavior of their classmates or other people … All these verbalizations that seem to be unimportant are the reflection of a latent negativity and they go away becoming a habit as they are repeated.
Victimhood
Victimism is an extremely negative and harmful attitude that manifests the child’s idea that his life does not satisfy him and that he cannot do anything to remedy it.
Minors who think in this way do not accept their share of responsibility for problems, nor do they seek solutions to them. The fault is always of others, because they are cruel or inconsiderate, and of life because it is hard and unfair. They do not see themselves capable of modifying what happens and getting ahead.
Negative perception
Finally, you have to pay attention to how the little one perceives and interprets reality. Negativity in children manifests itself because they detect and focus excessively on everything that goes wrong, on their own mistakes and also on those of other people. They perceive risks, problems and injustices all the time and magnify them, repeatedly thinking about them. Furthermore, they often anticipate negative events and expect the worst.
For example, they focus more on criticism than on flattery, think before why they will not be able to achieve something than why, and always expect the most negative results. For example, before a school excursion, they do not imagine that they will have fun with their friends, but that they will get bored, perform activities poorly or be sidelined by their classmates.
How to combat negativity in children?
Both negative and positive attitude are habits that are created by repetition. Thus, just as the child has learned to perceive and interpret in a dysfunctional way, he can unlearn it and begin to build a more optimistic vision. This has to be worked on at home, starting from the example of the parents, who must begin to express themselves in a more positive and appropriate way.
Also, when your child expresses a complaint or a limiting thought, help him to realize and replace it with another. In this sense, making daily affirmations can also be very useful to modify your thought patterns.
And, in the same way, empowering strengths such as gratitude, forgiveness and optimism will help you begin to see life with different eyes. A negative attitude generates suffering; A positive attitude will bring you closer to happiness and success.
