How To Solve Children’s Behavior Problems
Children’s behavior problems can create quite serious conflicts at home, especially when parents do not know how to handle them or cannot for whatever reasons (fatigue, stress, anxiety, etc.) and children enter a spiral of evil behavior where inadvertently one enters a terrible pitched war at home. And it is that the constant complaints of children can bring out the worst in parents, they can make them scream and block their thinking.
But parents should be very clear about one thing: children are not going to change their negative habits overnight. It takes constant work to be able to achieve this and that parents have, above all, a lot of patience and show the best example so that they are able to shape their behavior. But how can these kinds of problems be solved?
Don’t get into a proxy war
It is necessary not to enter into power struggles with children, no matter what happens you must know how to choose the battles, there are some that it is not necessary to enter. Sometimes it is not necessary to enter into discussions with the children, so they will have to deal with frustrations or anger, but it is necessary to differentiate the behaviors to be able to handle them.
So that you do not get into an unnecessary power struggle, the best thing you can do to forget the screams, to avoid tantrums… is to give your child the opportunity to participate in the decisions, with some alternatives that you choose, without further discussion. This way you will have the opportunity to choose and feel that you control your decisions, but the reality is that you are the one who chooses the best alternatives.
Don’t react, but don’t ignore either
The first thing you have to do before reacting is to determine what it is that you have been doing wrong. Many parents mistakenly respond to misbehavior (often exaggerated) without knowing why it happened.
If the behavior is to attract attention, it is best not to react to it, but not to ignore it completely since ignoring it means that you allow it. Children must be redirected so that they know what is expected of them and how they should behave in certain situations.
When children misbehave, they usually attract the attention of their parents in a negative way, something that reinforces them negatively and they can do it again and again just because they receive the attention of their parents. In this sense, parents will have to pay attention to children when they improve their behavior and behavior and not react when children are misbehaving.
Be positive
Having a positive attitude in life is crucial to transmit good energies to children. Sometimes there will be unavoidable tantrums and surely also clashes between siblings … but entering a spiral of negativity will only result in more problems in the environment.
That is why it is necessary to have a positive attitude to any conflict to transmit these good energies to the little ones. If necessary, one idea is to leave the room for a few seconds, take a deep breath and count to 10, so you can calm your nerves and be able to face the problem again.
Don’t tag your kids
It is absolutely necessary that you never label your children calling them things like: “you are bad”, “how heavy you are”, or any negative connotation. This will only be a self-fulfilling prophecy, because by labeling your child he will think that he is like that and should behave according to how you think he is.
Therefore, if you want to label your child in some way and want to avoid behavioral problems, make sure you do it in a positive way in moments of good behavior, so you will be reinforcing him in a positive way: “I love it when you behave like this, you are so good “,” I am proud of you, you are very kind “,” Thank you for bringing me the towels, you are very helpful “, would be some examples.
Be flexible and aware
At the same time, you need to be aware of why your child behaves like this, to know why these behavior problems exist and to look for the basis of that behavior. Sometimes they can be emotional problems that you do not know how to express otherwise. You should also make sure that you are not too strict in the rules and that at home there is positive discipline with flexibility of rules according to the circumstances.
