9 Mistakes You Can’t Afford As A Mother

Being a mother is not an easy task, it requires a lot of dedication, effort, perseverance, patience, etc. The education of children causes insecurity and anguish to many parents. Not knowing if it is being done well, if the punishment has been excessive or perhaps too permissive, if we are good mothers, etc. But the important thing about all these doubts that torment us is not focusing on doing everything right and thinking about not doing it wrong and trying to avoid mistakes that can affect the good education of our children.

Mistakes you can’t afford as a mother

1. Authoritarian or permissive style of education

We must avoid giving orders and establishing norms without talking about them with our children imposing our reasons and not leaving them to them, as well as allowing them everything. You never have to go to both extremes, you have to maintain a balance between everything to achieve a democratic style in which our children feel respected.

2. Contradictions when educating between parents

This is one of the great problems when it comes to educating; it is important to show the union of both parents. Do not say one thing and the other another different, because in this way it is taught that these discrepancies help them to do what they want.

3. Disenfranchising the parent in the child’s presence

When the father scolds or says something to the child and it is not appropriate or we see it out of proportion, we do not say it in the presence of the child. In this way, what we would be doing would be to downplay what the father is saying, losing authority before the son. Anything we want to discuss about education or modes we should do in private when the child is not present.

4. Overprotect

It is one of the most frequent mistakes. Mothers try to excuse their children for their poor grades, avoid displeasure, make their beds, tidy up their rooms. But this all it does is make them become dependent and think that they are the masters of the world. Overprotecting creates insecurity, they are not able to make decisions, it leads to low self-esteem, they do not know how to face any daily setback and this can lead to more serious problems in the long run.

5. Punish inappropriately

Punishments have to be proportional to the inappropriate behavior carried out by the child. We cannot impose impossible punishments, or say that we are going to impose it and then not do it. We must be firm and keep what we say, otherwise we are losing authority and children may think that they can easily break the rules.

6. Convey contempt

Phrases like “you’re stupid”, “you don’t know how to do anything”, “you always disappoint me” or “I don’t know what I’ve had you for” are very harmful to children. We must not disrespect the boys or put ourselves at their height when faced with annoyance from them. The important thing is to speak and tell them things in the best possible way without reproach or humiliation.

7. Make promises we can’t keep

Avoid first of all making promises or promising rewards that are impossible to provide our children. What we will be doing is really disappointing and discouraging them.

For example, offering them a motorcycle in exchange for good grades: the first thing is that it is their obligation, to have good grades and to strive for it, not to get a motorcycle. And second, that if the child tries hard at that and then does not get the promised reward, he stops working.

8. Compare between siblings

All parents know that no child is the same as another. But sometimes when it comes to educating them we treat them the same and often we compare them. “Look at your brother how well he does it and you don’t”, “your brother is more of a worker than you.”

We cannot educate equally, because they are different, we must adapt the training to each person, with individual treatment. Otherwise we will be creating jealousy, envy and hatred between brothers.

9. Not setting clear limits and rules

Sometimes parents do not have a clear project when it comes to educating their children and what are the minimum standards and limits that they will demand. They act improvising. While they are young this can work, but by adolescence, problems arise and control is lost. That is why it is important to establish clear rules and limits, as well as the consequences of non-compliance.

As mothers we must avoid falling into these mistakes, since what they will cause are difficulties in the education of our children. Although it is difficult, we must try, no one said that being a mother was easy.