Give Your Child Options, Don’t Tell Him What To Do!
Giving young children options may seem like a bad idea, but it really isn’t. Perhaps in your childhood you heard things like “because I said so, and do not reply.” They are unnecessary ultimatums for the good parenting of children, but you can give your children the opportunity to make their own decisions without them realizing that you have been guiding them in this regard.
Authority in the home should always be with parents, but that does not mean that options are not a good educational resource. Parents provide the options and children feel free to decide for themselves.
This will also make them feel independent and in control in their choices. Although you have to do it well so that the boys do not become little tyrants.
How to offer good options to children?
In order for your children to grow up with self-confidence, you will have to give them options, of course, but you will have to do it right. To do this, do not miss the keys that we give you below.
Offers a maximum of two options
“What would you like to have a snack?” If you don’t want your child to tell you chocolate or ice cream every day, you will have to give two options to choose from. This will help you maintain your sanity and ensure that he eats well. Your little one will think they are in control of their choice, true, but only up to a point.
Choose your battles and prepare for success
There are some areas where you have to let your imagination run wild in terms of options and possibly most will have to do with bedtime.
When it comes to the pajamas he wants to wear and the two books you read before bed, those are choices he can make for himself. This will lead to a quieter bedtime routine.
Every day can be different, although you don’t have to freak out about it. It is relevant that you do not make a whole conflict and that you really choose the battles that matter. This does not mean being permissive at all, but simply knowing what is a priority and what is not.
Allow them to negotiate (up to a point)
You may find yourself negotiating on screen time or awake before sleeping most nights. Actually, so that this does not turn into a war, it is best to give them options so that it becomes a more peaceful experience.
For example, they can choose between 10 minutes of television with their favorite program or 10 minutes of mobile screen. But not both; They will have to choose the one they feel best with or the one they like the most.
Ask them what they need and give options
Sometimes children have behaviors that we do not expect because they need something that we do not give them. That something, normally, usually translates into time, kisses, hugs, games … But, in order to know it, you need to ask them. Only if you ask him will you understand the importance of having this conversation with your little ones.
Maybe you just have to tell them to choose the amount of kisses or hugs they want, or to choose the game they prefer to play. Allowing them the ability to make their own decision will make them much happier children (and mom will be, too).
Cultivate Your Confidence and Independence Through Choices
When the day is done, it is very important that you have cultivated their confidence and independence. Nobody likes being told what to do, especially a young child.
Allowing them to make decisions on their own gives them confidence in their own ability to make decisions. This confidence will give your children independence and they will more than likely be happy to feel capable.
Not everything goes
There will be times when you cannot give them a choice because it is not a good option and you must have a more authoritative attitude about it. This doesn’t have to be bad at all. Your children must learn that even if you give them options from time to time, you will always have the last word in what happens.
For example, if your children want to stay in the park longer, but it is time to leave, there will be no options. Or if in the morning you have to leave early to go to the doctor or school and it is already late, but they want to sleep a little more, there will be no option either.
Given all this, it is important that, as a parent, you know when is the best time to give options and when it is not. In this way, your children will have confidence in themselves to make decisions and will learn to think for themselves, but at the same time, they will know that they must follow your command whenever it is opportune. This will give them security, an essential, too, for their proper development.
