Lying In Children
Lying in children is normal as long as it does not become part of their daily routine. If your child suddenly only tells lies, you have to pay real attention to his new way of being. But if these are sporadic ideas that spring from your imagination and are created to adorn your games, don’t censor them.
In this text, we will talk about lies during childhood, what they are and when you should or should not avoid them.
Why do children lie?
Children lie, not infrequently, without meaning to. Their lies, contrary to what some parents may think, are not premeditated. They are unaware that they are lying.
Lying in children can be the product of their fertile imagination. They do not see as false and unreal that blue kitten that accompanies them everywhere, which they carry and want mother to serve him a plate with milk.
Those lies of children of 2 and 3 years that start from their imagination, are not lies; they are fantasies.
But sometimes the older children, 5 or 6 years old, do lie and are aware of it. They carefully plan their story or make it up lightly to get out of a certain situation.
What motivates lying during childhood?
The most common causes of lying in childhood are:
- Avoid scolding and punishment.
- Don’t disappoint your adults.
- Blame someone else.
- Hide your misconduct.
- Imitate their parents or any other adult with whom they interact.
- Achieve a goal.
- The excessive demand.
The message of the lie
The lie, when it is premeditated or told to consciously falsify reality, is a message of help, of help, that your child is giving you.
You must understand that he needs to tell a lie for a purpose, so more than your scolding, he deserves your assistance, dedication and attention.
When you notice that your child is cheating on you, discover what is behind his false words.
At what point should their lies worry you?
Your child’s lies should worry you when they become recurring, when they are a repetitive process and, suddenly, your child will only tell lies.
In the face of his lies, punishment or applause?
Neither. Your child’s lies should not be cheered because when you applaud their falsehoods or laugh at them, you are conveying that they are okay and you like them to lie.
On the other hand, lies should not be punished either, not in the first instance. When you punish a lie, you tell the child to elaborate his idea better in the future so that you fully believe in it and do not discover it.
How to deal with the child’s lies?
The child’s lies should be taken naturally. Every time your child makes up a story for you and thinks that he has believed it, your action should be to comment on it, ask him more questions about the story or the idea he has just told you.
In that talk, little by little, you must help him untangle all the threads of his story and reveal, together, the reality.
In the end, it is important that, without saying: “you lied to me, what you told me was not true and I just discovered you” they get to the truth and continue talking normally as if, from the beginning, they had told you something real.
Don’t get upset or rush to the end of the conversation. Give it time and listen to what it tells you.
At all times offer him your trust, create a safe environment for him and show him that he can reveal the truth to you without the fear that you will scold or punish him ; First, because of what he supposed to have lied to and then because of the mistake he could have made.
If you proceed in this way with all your son’s lies, very soon he will stop lying to you.
Another thing, always remember that preventing his lies is better than censoring them, or finding a way to tell you the truth. If your child tells you lies, look for the root of the problem, why he is making them up. It is likely that their behavior is due to your way of being or your demands. Perhaps you are responsible for their deceptive behavior and you have not realized it.
